[ IMPERIAL ALERT ]  THE EMPIRE STRIKES 47  ·  DARK SIDE PROTOCOLS ENGAGED  ·  SITH COUNCIL CONVENED  ·  COVFEFE.EXE LOADED  ·  ALL HAIL DARTH DONALDUS  ·  [ IMPERIAL ALERT ]  TARIFFS WEAPONIZED · LIGHTSABERS DEPLOYED · WALL CONSTRUCTED IN HYPERSPACE · MUCH DARK · VERY SITH ·
// PROTOCOL 47 INITIATED

DARK TRUMP

› the dark side of the deal ‹

Long ago in a swamp far, far away, a dark lord rose from the orange ashes of the Republic. He brought with him tariffs, decrees, and a truly tremendous red lightsaber. They said it could not be done. He said: believe me, it will be done — bigly. The Empire is born. Join the Sith Council.

› buy $DTRUMP ⚔ council ⚡ decrees
SUBJECT: D.J.T.
FORCE: 9999
MOOD: TREMENDOUS
CLEARANCE: SITH
dark trump portrait

// IMPERIAL TELEMETRY · LIVE FEED

0
force level
0
presidency
0
acolytes
0
winning

FORCE POWERS

// dark side abilities · classified

⚔ tariff strike98%
⚡ force tweet92%
🛡 wall projection88%
👑 covfefe mind trick100%
🔮 swamp drain84%
💰 deal manipulation120%

SITH COUNCIL

// the eight lords of the new empire

I
II
III
IV
V
VI
VII
VIII

IMPERIAL DECREE

// transmission incoming · channel 47

● ● ● imperial.terminal.exeSECURE//SITH//COUNCIL
[SYSTEM]
connection established · channel 47 · encryption: red
[DARTH DONALDUS]

DEATH STAR 47

// construction in progress · 100% taxpayer funded

The Tremendous Battlestation

This will be the greatest battlestation ever built — believe me. Bigger than the moon. The Mexicans will pay for it. Construction is ahead of schedule, behind budget, and frankly, very impressive.

CONSTRUCTION: 0%

SUPERLASER: ● ARMED   PRIMARY TARGET: deep state

FORCE GRIP

// channel the dark side · click to unleash

0
enemies force-choked across the galaxy

DUCAL DECREES

// signed in blood by darth donaldus

EO #001
All Tariffs Will Be Tremendous
Bigly. Believe me. The best tariffs.
EO #002
Build the Wall on Mars
The Martians will pay for it. Tremendous wall.
EO #003
Outlaw Sleep
Sleep is for the weak. Sad!
EO #004
Rename Mt Rushmore
Now: Mt Trumpmore. Just me. Four times.
EO #005
Replace USD with $DTRUMP
Strongest currency. Backed by the Force.
EO #006
Hyperloop to Mar-a-Lago
All citizens shall visit. Mandatory.
EO #007
Ban Loser Energy
Only winning energy permitted in the empire.
EO #008
Rename Stars
Each star: Trump 1, Trump 2, Trump 3...

HOLOCRON PHRASES

// click a holocron to receive the wisdom

believe me
tremendous
bigly
covfefe
huge!
sad!
winning
best deal
fake jedi
wrong!
yuge!
so dark
// official imperial token · contract address

$DTRUMP

⚡ parody token · the dark side of memes · not financial advice ⚡

CA EwtVrPmZWhkeneHxM4aEbSLqJFb9PqJamDD6j11ebDpW
› click to copy · sealed by the imperial council ‹
⚡ COPIED TO HOLOCRON ⚡